A good friend of one of my sisters tries to have a child as a single mom, as we speak. She is 41 years old, and recently got married to her pet dog Reggie.
(This is not a joke, by the way. She even gave a wedding party.)
She also has a long history of psychiatric ward visits and stays, and personally I think that Ilonka shouldn’t have kids: she is getting a tad old, and she misses the appropriate marbles to take care of a kid on her own.
Your case most probably is very different (you didn’t get married to your pet, I hope), but the fixation on becoming a mother sometimes lets us make the wrong decisions. And if you are 44, the risk of giving birth to a baby with a disorder is getting very high — the chances of getting a baby with Down syndrome is 1/30 for a mother at 45, to give one startling example (!!).
(Possible complications for the mother are also much more prevalent.)
In the end it’s very simple: if you want to become a natural mother at all cost —
You don’t understand motherhood at all.